I Am Convinced Being a Met Fan Has Taken Years Off of My Life


I am a Met fan. Not sure why I always say “Met fan” vs. “Mets fan” but the real point is why does anyone support a team that sucks and cares so little about either winning or treating their fan base well? No one can tell. Must be some sort of masochism.

Yes, it’s true, I am a Met fan.  Not really sure why though.  When I do comedy, I like to say that I am not a Met fan because I am from New York.  I am a Met fan because I hate myself and it’s a pretty reliable way to be miserable for at least half of the year.

In this respect, the Mets do not disappoint.  I had written off this season (and probably all until Fred Wilpon either dies or sells the team) and I was not surprised by their fuckupery de la semaine that happened this week.  You see the Mets traded outfielder Marlon Byrd to the Pittsburgh Pirates this week.  Normally, this would not be a big deal.  Late season trades like this happen all the time.  The timing of this trade, however, was problematic as it happened the day the Mets had set aside to be “Byrd T-Shirt Night” at Citifield.  Fans who showed up all got Byrd t-shirts but he was no longer a Met by then.

OOOPS and OUCH!  The Mets had to shell out for t-shirts with actual Met players and gave everyone free tickets to another game.  Wow.

The Met front office stupidity is epic.  I feel like most of my life has been spent watching the Mets trade decent or great players away and the deal always goes down the same way.  I see someone from their front office make a perfectly reasonable case for why they traded player x to team y (they wanted too much money, they didn’t like New York, etc) only to have the very next person come on be that player explaining how they loved being a Met.  Three examples come to mind.  When they traded John Olerud, they said it was because his wife missed Seattle.  He then told the world how much he and his wife loved living in New York.  After explaining the Dave Cone wanted too much money, Cone said he would have played for free just to play in NY (particularly painful because he went on to play for the Yankees — double OUCH).  And then there’s the more recent trade of José Reyes, I don’t know what the official reason the Mets gave was but Reyes said that he didn’t feel wanted by management because they never approached him.   This cuts to the heart of my problem and the question I would ask Wilpon, do you even talk to your players before you trade them?  No?  Clearly.  And clearly you should start.

Now, I have other problems with Wilpon.  He lost a ton of money to Bernie Madoff but was also held responsible for the Ponzi Scheme and forced to pay $162 million to the victims’ fund.  Is it a coincidence that he paid $162 million and there are 162 games in a baseball season.  I don’t think so.  And Citifield was built as a monument to Jackie Robinson (and Ebbets’ Field).  I get that Robinson was a transformative figure for sports and society and love what he did for both but this is a MET stadium.  Honor him, sure.  Wilpon was a huge Dodgers fan, I get it.  It doesn’t have to go over the top with it.  As awesome as Robinson was and great his achievements were, his monument should be elsewhere.  Maybe not the home of the most incompetent team in baseball.    And the stadium was built to accommodate Reyes’ style of play and he was traded the same season it opened.  Wow.

The Wall Street Journal compared the relationship Mets have with their fans and Yankees have with theirs.  For the Yankees and their fans, it is a long, stable marriage.  For the Mets & Met fans, it’s a tumultuous affair.  We love our team, we hate them.  I agree but today I am feeling like it is also an abusive relationship.  They beat me up this week but during the off season they will apologize and come Opening Day, I’ll be back for more.


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Oh, Fred Wilpon! You’re breaking my heart! You’re shaking my confidence daily!

Sung to the tune of “Cecilia”

Oh, Fred Wilpon, you’re breaking my heart, you’re shaking my confidence daily.
Oh, Fred Wilpon, I’m down on my knees, I’m begging don’t trade RA Dickey
Watching a game in the afternoon with Fred Wilpon At Citifield
I get up to get a beer
When get back to Fred Someone’s taken my seat
Oh, Fred Wilpon, you’re breaking my heart, you’re shaking my confidence daily. Oh, Fred Wilpon, I’m down on my knees, I’m begging don’t trade David Wright.

R.A. Dickey - New York NL - 2011 Home

R.A. Dickey – New York NL – 2011 Home (Photo credit: BaseballBacks)

If you know me or read me regularly, you know what crazy Met fan I am (yes, I am aware of how redundant that looks).  Like most, long-suffering Met fans, I hate Fred Wilpon.   I don’t care what the fine people on Morning Joe think about how wonderful a person he is.  I think he sucks and I doubt I will have a happy summer until he dies or sells the team and I am not sure which I hope happens.

Recently, pitcher RA Dickey was nominated for a Cy Young Award (if you do not know what that is, Google it).  It seemed unlikely that the Mets would want to trade such a valuable player but after losing so much money to Bernie Madoff and then losing more to the victims’ fund ($162 million to be exact and is it a coincidence that there are 162 games in a season?  I SO doubt it) but that’s exactly what they started talking about doing.  And today, I read they are also looking into trading third baseman David Wright?  WTF?  http://risingapple.com/2012/11/13/thoughts-on-latest-david-wright-r-a-dickey-rumors/

My experience with the Mets goes something like this.  Someone from the Met front office will

David Wright

David Wright (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

appear on television to explain why some super popular player has been traded.  For some reason my brain is fixated on John Olerud and Dave Cone but the list is too long too put here.  Well, they give some really rational reason why this player had to be let go — Olerud and his wife “want to go home.”  Cone “wants too much money.”  Fair enough.  I get it.  I don’t like it but it makes sense.

Next up on TV.  That player who disputes the Met front office person’s story.  Olerud said he and his wife “really enjoy living in NYC.”  Cone said, “I’d play for free to play in New York.”  What? Did you even talk to the player? 

Last year’s heartbreak for me was Jose Reyes (I know he was underwhelming in Miami) — I have had ONE baseball jersey in my life and it’s his.  He said he left because “the Mets didn’t seem to want me.”  Maybe the front office didn’t want you but the fans did.

Not that Fred Wilpon gives a rat’s ass about us.

The Bataan Death March — 2012 baseball season edition

Bobby Valentine (New York Mets)

Bobby Valentine (New York Mets) (Photo credit: iccsports). If you Google me and him, you will find a petition I started when he was fired. I was really angry about it. I still am.

Yesterday was the official start of the baseball season.  For the next six months I expect to spend at least  a decent portion of my time crying or thinking about crying.  Having the Bo Sox get Bobby Valentine does not help.   (Side note:  Dear Joe Scarborough, can you explain why you are a Sox fan?  Didn’t you grow up in Florida?  I can forgive a lot — you voting to impeach President Clinton or any of your political views — but this Sox thing may be a step too far.  I am just kidding.  I just mute the TV when you talk about baseball.  And your Fed Wilpon love is equally inexplicable.  No Met fans I know like him.)

Back to my point.  The baseball season is long (162 games!  Hey, wait, isn’t that the same number of millions of dollars Fred Wilpon has to pay to the Bernie Madoff victims’ fund?  Dang!  It is!) and I expect it to be really painful.  This year, next year, every year until the Wilpons sell the team.

So, I will have to rely on movies like Bull Durham and Moneyball to get me through the summer.  Best two baseball movies ever.

Let’s go Mets!

Thank you, Dan Snyder

That’s something I don’t get to say very often.  In fact, I have never even thought anything remotely like that.  This morning changed all of that.  Being the insomniac that I am, I was up tweeting when I came upon this gem:  http://www.tbd.com/articles/2011/03/washington-redskins-to-washington-post-stop-using-our-name-56518.html.  I’ll save you having to read it; Dan Snyder was the Washington Post to stop using the Redskins’ name because he “wants to protect the brand.”  Personally, I think he would do more to help is brand by making them team suck less but that’s just me.

You see, I am a fan of a baseball franchise called the New York Mets.  Anyone who follows the sport knows the past few years have been tough ones for the team.  Two years in a row we had historic collapses – in fact last year was only marginally better because they sucked earlier in the season and no one had any illusions that they would make the post season.

Recently, my Mets have made news for other reasons.  The owner, Fred Wilpon, a man who has made breaking fans’ hearts an art form, lost a lot of the team’s money to Bernie Madoff.  Seriously.  Donald Trump has talked about stepping in to save the team.  If Trump makes one big public statement this year; I hope it will be that he has bought the Mets. (That’s wishful thinking, no one thinks he will only make one big announcement this year).  As big as this part of the team’s story is, it is only a distraction in the offseason.  The real story is that the team has a huge payroll and little to show for it.

All of this brings me back to Dan Snyder.  He makes me feel proud to be a fan of a team other than the Redskins (full disclosure: I am a 49er fan and thus required to hate the Skins).  As Mr. Wilpon has a talent for trading players in ways that give me nightmares, Mr. Snyder knows how to be a douchebag.  From suing season ticket holder to local papers for writing mean things about him, he likes being a jerk.  Soon after he bought the team, he had to move his family to a gated community because fans were ringing his doorbell to let him know what they thought.  Really.

So this morning’s news was only a surprise in that it made me happy that Fred Wilpon owns my favorite team.    That’s a second first this morning.