Sarah Palin is the Roger Clemens of politics

Ok, I’ll admit it; I believed Palin did not know that Africa is a continent and not a country and that she didn’t know what countries are in North America. I was wrong. That I found these ideas plausible proves what I love about Sarah Palin, she’s perfect in a number of ways. I love Palin the way I love Roger Clemens, which is to say I ‘love to hate’ them. They are both the gift that keeps on giving. Just when you think they are exiting the stage, they stick around.

Roger Clemens represents all that is wrong with the American League (that’s baseball, if you weren’t sure) and the designated hitter. He is violent. He is a jerk. He is a wuss and his whole family drive Hummers. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen was a home run Shawn Estes (the Met pitcher at the time) hit off Clemens at Shea. Clemens’ ERA at Shea was 7.8. (Look it up.) He said nasty things about teammates after then left the Yankees. Best thing he did? After retiring he went back to playing, much to the chagrin of George Steinbrenner. When he signed with the Astros it also meant playing for a National League team. Talk about a twofer. Pissed off Steinbrenner and went to play for a National League team.

Sarah Palin provides me with all the things I think are wrong with the Republican Party. They view minorities, including women, as simpleminded. Palin herself assumed disenfranchised Hillary supporters would vote for her because she is a woman. She is also very religious, which in and of itself is NOT a bad thing BUT her version of it scares me. She believes in creationism, or as it has been named by PR people, ‘intelligent design.’ Her earth is six thousand years ago and dinosaurs walked around four thousand years ago. While I do believe intelligent people can disagree about certain things, I cannot believe people really believe in this version over evolution. And along that same vein, she tried to get books banned from the Wasila library. When she found that the mayor doesn’t have the authority, she tried to fire the librarian. And all of this is *before* she ran for VP. As a candidate, she avoided the media. The interviews confirmed my worst fears about what kind of VP she would make. Dick Cheney may be evil but anyone who makes him look good scares the crap out of me. At least if they were a heartbeat away from the presidency. And now we come to the heart of my affection: Sarah Palin may be coming to a town near me. As Senator Stevens’ lead has gone into a vote deficit (You run for office, your opponent is convicted of SEVEN felonies and wins? How bitter are you?) Palin’s chances for moving to DC become less immediate but I suspect Alaska is too small for her now. If Stevens wins, I think he will get the boot from the Senate because the GOP wants to better its image. In that case, Palin could appoint herself and run in a special election. Even should that not happen, Palin isn’t going into hiding.

The main differences between Clemens and Palin are pretty simple. Clemens is a jerk but he had talent. Palin may be a nice enough person but her talent is questionable, as is her intellect. A series of emails Clemens sent were released and he looked pretty dumb. You don’t have to be brilliant to pitch baseball, you should be smart to govern. I love sports because they provide me with a cathartic release I don’t get elsewhere. It breaks my heart when the Mets (or 49ers) lose but nothing else really changes. Politics is different as the people we elect to high offices can change our lives. Senator Stevens, for all his criminal actions, did improve the life of the average Alaskan. I may enjoy watching Palin but it pays to watch and make sure she’s never given the keys to anything we’ll want to keep in one piece.

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