Reality TV 2.0

Just when I was starting to get worried that season five of Jersey Shore is still a full six months away — how will I get through this rough time? — the GOP presidential candidates have come through.  I am not sure if this qualifies as a real progression from reality TV 1.0 to 2.0 but we have entered a new phase, that’s for sure.

The Cain TrainFor instance, Herman Cain is the newest gift that keeps on giving.  My personal issue with him isn’t his 13 year affair, the allegations of sexual harassment — although they are deplorable, or even his positions on policy.  Granted, the last in that list disqualified him immediately from being someone who would get my vote but he already knew that (did everyone catch him tell a reporter than he “doesn’t need 100 percent of the vote” ???). My real problem with Cain is that he thought he was qualified to run for president without doing even the slightest real prep for  it.  If he cannot read enough to know the issues — or even be able to accurately describe his own ideas, how could he ever govern?  I find it beyond arrogant that he thinks he can govern solely on the strength of his personality.  I met a candidate for the US Senate a few years ago who had never worked on a campaign or in government.  He volunteered on one in college.  He called the move to the US Senate a “lateral move.”  No, sir, it is not.

Campaigns are long job interviews.  If a job applicant answered any interview question with “I will listen to my advisors on that,” they would be laughed out of the interview.  Worse, they would have wasted the interviewers time.  That’s what bothers me about Herman Cain.  The farce of his campaign has hurt the level of discourse and wasted all of our time.

Having said all of that, I have found his train wreck campaign to be as delicious as any of Snooki’s adventures.  And I kind of love it that he is the last person in America to realize his campaign is over.  Love it.

How stupid does he think we are?

There’s one angle to Herman Cain’s presidential campaign that has not been covered.  One question I would like to ask: How stupid do you think we are?  Clearly, the answer is very, very, very stupid.

After watching him in the debates and doing interviews, it is pretty clear that he lacks even the most rudimentary knowledge of policy and politics.   I didn’t think it was possible to be alive during the last decade without having heard of neo-cons.  And his foreign policy knowledge is downright scary.  Didn’t know China has had nuclear weapons for fifty years?  You think the Israelis would be open to discussing the ‘right of return?’  Do you read any news at all?  And for good measure, the 9-9-9 plan would be horrible for everyone — especially the poor and anyone living on a fixed income.  The federal sales tax of 9 percent would be a tax increase on everyone, and the 9 percent income tax would be a tax cut for the wealthy and a big tax hike for those who are barely holding on.

What makes Cain’s economic plan even worse is that he doesn’t seem to understand it all that well.  I thought Governor Mitt Romney made a great point about the sales tax.  He asked Cain if the sales tax included in his plan would replace the current state sales taxes.

“No, your’re mixing apples with oranges,” Cain said.

“So I am going to get a bushel of oranges and apples?” Romney asked.

“You’re mixing apples with oranges,” Cain replied.

Way to stay on message but he didn’t answer the question and I think that is because he didn’t understand it.  Supporters point to his business successes and he done well but I don’t sense a whole lot of intellectual curiosity there.  In his defense, no one knows everything but being proud of knowing nothing doesn’t inspire a whole lot of confidence.

The newest political scandal is almost the least important clue that this man would be a disastrous president.  But the allegations are serious — and growing more so as more women come forward with stories about Cain.

Herman Cain’s response to the allegations — and it’s hard to use the ‘none of this is true’ line when there are two recorded settlements with the women in question.  But his denials have morphed from one to another so much that he’s only making this much worse for himself. Threatening to sue Politico in a move inspired by Dan Snyder, won’t help things.

Mr. Cain, you are not ready for prime time and everything you do just makes that case more.

How I learned to stop worrying and love the Tea Party

I have changed my mind about the Tea Party.

Their constant references to my favorite period of history (Note to Governor Palin: amazing things happened during that period that need no embellishment, Paul Revere’s ride was pretty awesome without guns and a farce about “warning the British” and Congresswoman Bachmann: read some history before telling New Hampshire how the ‘shot heard ’round the world’ happened there) still piss me off. Because they get the facts wrong — seriously, how many times can I quote Senator Moynihan before it sickens even me? (“You have the right to your own opinion but not your own facts.”)

And true, your extreme and contradictory views of reality, history and ideology trouble me still. I don’t think you can “pray away the gay” (how ironic is is that Dr. Bachmann, well, you know…), nor do I think the 2008 election heralded the beginning of the ‘end of days’ and I don’t think just because someone disagrees with me they are anti-American.

And yet, I am impressed. You have made me feel badly for Speaker Boehner. Wow. You are the Christine O’Donnell of political “parties.” Ps. Even she is not a fan of Michele Bachmann. She once said, and I quote, “We should chance the phrase ‘shooting fish in a barrel’ to ‘fact checking Michele Bachmann.” Me-Ow!

With the 2012 elections around the corner, I am glad they are around. They are making life really hard for the other Republicans in the House. A big block of them have said they won’t support the Speaker’s debt ceiling increase plan. Seriously, how much does that sting? You are the Speaker of the House, you go on national TV and give a speech about how great your plan is and then found your own caucus won’t support it. And he’s between a rock and a hard place. He needs Democrats to pass a plan but any compromise he reaches with them will cost him the Speakership. So, from a purely political, campaign perspective, I love the Tea Party.

The problem is that we are facing a possible financial catastrophe. Lawrence O’Donnell was right — the “Tea Party” freshmen don’t understand this is bigger than their campaigns. It’s bigger than this Congress. It’s bigger than the Obama Presidency.

Oh, one other jab at the GOP and the Speaker — does anyone else see an irony in their recent statements? They claim this should be about “Americans keeping their jobs, not politicians.” They simultaneously claim they cannot compromise because they will be breaking their campaign promises and we can all see why the Speaker is not compromising — and in other circumstances, I think he would but being Speaker of the House is a good gig. Irony!

Maybe this is the real apocalypse that preacher was talking about a few months back…