April 27, 2014 by Alyson Chadwick

Labor, Athletes and Sherpas

Nepali sherpas guiding climbers up Mount Everest may not seem to have much in common with Northwestern University football players, but both were in the news this week due to labor issues. As different as they seem, both form elite groups whose work is exploited by others for profit. That profit is large.

Nepal is one of the poorest, least developed countries on the planet. The term sherpa refers to a small, ethnic minority, but has come to be synonymous with the elite climbing guides who work throughout the Himalayas. The job of sherpa pays well. In a country where most people live on under $300/year, the prospect of making $6,000 or more for a season is very enticing. The Nepali government also makes millions from climbers. They actively encourage men to take this on as a career. So, the climbers get a great experience, the touring companies charge a fortune and the government rakes in the fees. Sherpa deserve a bigger share of profits from an industry that they make possible.

Likewise, college athletes work and take risks for others’ amusement and profit. Like the sherpas, they are equally celebrated, and the risk football players take is considerable. Football is a dangerous sport. The NFL recognizes this and takes care of its retired players, maybe it’s time universities do the same. This is a multi-billion dollar business. Fans have a great time, television networks make a huge profit and universities gain prestige and make money. Everyone involved seems to profit more than the people on the field.

When Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay summited Everest in 1953, Hillary said he “didn’t think the world would care too much about a simple bee keeper from New Zealand.” He spawned a multimillion dollar industry. The world of college sports has grown in the same way. The time has come to recognize how these sports have become businesses, and treat the people who make them happen accordingly.

March 17, 2014 by Alyson Chadwick

Random thoughts about a random holiday

Crasher squirrel wants a Jameson.

Erin go bragh! I know, I know everyone is Irish on St. Patty’s Day. Despite my red hair, freckles and ridiculously pale skin, I don’t have all that much Irish in me. That doesn’t stop people from assuming I am in the US straight off the boat (or I guess plane) from the emerald isle. Being that time of year, I thought I would share some of my favorite anecdotes about this.

The most notable person to assume I was Irish was Paddy Maloney of the Chieftains. My first real job in public relations was at a publicist at RCA Victor. I handled their world music and jazz department and that meant the Chieftains fell under my area. As their record label publicist, I accompanied them to the Grammy Awards.

Side note: Paddy and I were back stage and attempting to get him back to his seat. This was

I still miss Cheddar Jameson.

the first time I had met him and didn’t want to look like an idiot but we were stage right and I had only walked from back stage to the house on the stage left side and got a bit turned around. A stage manager approached me and told me I was in a restricted area so, of course, I told him to fuck off, I am with a performer and he needs to go where he needs to go! Well, I walked the way I wanted to and we got where we needed to get but not before we walked on stage (during the broadcast) and were briefly on TV. Guess that’s why the stage manager was being so prickly! Live and learn…

At the after party, or one of them, I was talking to Paddy and his wife and he commented that he thought I was from Ireland. I responded it was just the red hair and blue eyes but he said, No, I thought you had a brogue. (I asked his wide, how much has he had to drink?) I have many things but an Irish brogue is not one of them.

Most memorable mistake: I was in Mexico doing an official trip for President Clinton. When we arrived in the country we were told to hold on to a form they gave us. This meant I probably ate or shredded it immediately and did not have it two weeks later when I wanted to go home. Now, I had been very sick in Mexico. You know, Montezuma and all. When the time came to return to the states, I was more than ready but was denied boarding because I did not have that form. I started to cry — and I don’t mean a tear or two, I mean full on sobbing. The woman at the gate tried to be comforting — and while she was holding my passport, complete with the statement that the bearer is abroad on an official assignment for the US government, we had this exchange:

Don’t worry, honey, you’ll make it back to Ireland!
What?
Go to the Irish embassy and you’ll be in Dublin before you know it!
But, I’m from New York…

There are some benefits to this misidentification. No one ever thinks I am from the US when I travel (for the record, saying you’re Canadian does nothing to help you, despite what people think. If someone wants to do Americans harm, well, those people view Canada — sorry Canada, as the 51st American state so don’t bother). If I don’t get Irish, I get English. This can have its own set of problems as when I was living in Paris someone got mad at me for using a phone booth. I was on the line with a friend in NY and he screamed, Go back to Britain you English bitch! at me. Huh? Usually, I wait until I know people like me to let them know where I am really from. So, if they think I am a total bitch, they can keep thinking I am from Ireland or England or whatever…

Most intriguing experience with this… Two red heads go into a bar and… My friend, Maureen, and i went into a pub in Dublin. She and I have identical coloring but we were approached by a local and this exchange took place:

Guy to Maureen: Excuse me, are you from America?
Her: Yes.
Me: What about me?
Him: Oh, I assumed you were from here.

I don’t know why he said that or if he thought it at all but she was really angry with me.

Anyway, ERIN GO BRAGH!!!

March 17, 2014 by Alyson Chadwick

Breaking news! This JUST in! Extra! Extra!

This is a photo of me kissing the Blarney Stone. Kissing the stone gave me the authority to let you know, no one knows anything about that missing plane. Crashed squirrel agrees.

Drop everything! Pay no attention to the Crimea vote! Ignore the foot of snow that is pummeling your city! Experts now can reveal they know nothing about the missing Malaysian plane! Moreover, we may never know! As this is clearly the biggest story since the Lindenburg baby, all cable news stations will devote all their time to this story. Is anyone else sick of this? I hate to be all callous and do sympathize with the people whose loved ones were aboard (and I share the curiosity) but how much money are we spending to learn the fate of 239 people? How could these resources be used to help, I dunno, the people of Syria? Of course, my main concern of the day is the rain that is coming down on my current home town. My first thought when I woke up was the excitement that comes only from knowing the universe has finally found a way to remove the piles of bird shit that covers my car. My life is full of excitement. And if you are in the Gainesville, Florida area, I will be performing at 1982 on Tuesday night. Last thought: Kudos to Guinness for dropping out of the St. Patrick’s Day parade in Manhattan. The official parade committee refused to include the Stonewall Inn and Guinness released a statement: “We were hopeful that the policy of exclusion would be reversed for this year’s parade. As this has not come to pass, Guinness has withdrawn its participation.” Back to your regularly scheduled programming…

March 14, 2014 by Alyson Chadwick

What would Squirrel do?

[corner-ad id=1]Judging from this photo, we can all see what she would do. She would nap. So would I but my horoscope today said I need to get more done so I thought I would come back to this site and do some work on it. A lot has happened since I wrote here last and this has

Hobbes and Squirrel are busy cats with places to go and things to do.

been a very strange few months.

For instance, if you are in the Washington, DC area, you may have noticed (or not) that I haven’t been around. There’s a good reason for that — I have been in Florida. I am sure I will eventually go into the reasons and whatnot but that isn’t going to happen today. Today, I am all about rambling.

So, about a month ago, I packed up my belongings and headed south to Florida. If you are wondering how to make such a drive even more fun than it already is, do it with two cats. If you don’t have any cats, they LOVE to travel. LOVE IT! They share their love of the open road by screeching as loudly as they can for as long as they can (and they have quite a talent for doing this so they can keep it up a LONG time).

Before I came down here, I used to say that this area was where “hope and happiness go to commit suicide.” I am in a college town and unless you are going to school here, your options for things to do are limited. I may have been a little off as I have met a lot of cool and interesting people. Of course, they are more interesting after a few Jamesons but who isn’t?

Some things I have learned of late:

Campaigns and political parties should join in 21st century. When I was eight, I started volunteering on a congressional campaign. We called people and went door-to-door. A few weeks ago, I started volunteering for a local candidate and they were doing the same thing. Who has a landline these days? Who answers it? Granted, people who vote in midterm or special elections tend to be older, whiter and more conservative than in other elections. Among other things, those are also adjectives that could be used for Floridians and people with landlines but there has to be a better and more effective way to reach people. The local Democrats lost most of their races due to poor turnout. One area race was pushed to a runoff, their best showing this time around, and they should work differently to win it. My advice: you have a finite amount of time your volunteers can spend working for you, make it count. Don’t have them call strangers — have them reach out to people they know. Send them to shopping centers and have them stand on street corners in highly visible spots. Someone on MSNBC described Republicans as being “Blockbuster in a Netflix world.” We need to avoid that trap.

Tetris makes everything better. One of the first things I did when I got here was look into the local comedy scene. Lucky for me, there is one! One of the places I go has Tetris and nothing relaxes me more before a set is some of that. I also found a great workshop with local comedians and go to that once a week.

Warmer can be better. If you have noticed, Washington, DC has been hellishly cold this winter. One morning my bathroom was 36 degrees and I was less than pleased. Really like not wearing a hundred layers when I leave the house.

Other developments:

Am driving a Ford Fiesta (haven’t needed a car in a long time) and have developed a hatred of birds. They shit all over the car and wake me up every morning. Little fuckers.
The people at Publix are nicer than the people at Safeway.
The cats love Florida.

Well, that’s enough for now. My goal is to write here every day but that’s probably not going to happen.

The Squirrel On The Fringe

August 24, 2013 by Alyson Chadwick

Top Five Political Fails for the Week of August 24, 2013

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A San Diego radio station put this up as their message to Bob Filner.

Yeah, every week is a crazy one in the rough and tumble world of politics. This is a roundup of some of the fun pundits had watching their favorite sport. You can read that here.

And some bonus content readers here:

Near Fails:

1. Sarah for Senate?

If Sarah had stayed here, comedy writers all over the country would have been denied her awesomeness. Wasilla City Hall in Alaska (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Conservative columnist Bill Crystal knows what Sarah Palin needs to do to get her gravitas back (did she ever have any?). She needs to run for the Senate! Yes, he thinks she should run against incumbent Democrat Mark Begich in Alaska next year.

Alyson Chadwick

Writer・Editor・Strategist・Comedian・Activist

Category Archives: Personal stories