Thank you for…
1. The US Constitution: It is easy to look at the recent Congressional failures, and the “super
The US Constitution, it rocks
committee” is only the most recent, and think “our system is broken.” It isn’t. Flawed, yes. Injured, probably. Broken, no. One thing that has always confused me is why some people, upset by the results of the 2008 presidential campaign, preferred to think that we had entered the “end of days” rather than entertain the idea that they lost an election. You see, I have some perspective on this. I worked on the Gore 2000 campaign. I was devastated by the result but I never — not once — considered George W. Bush to be anything but a legitimate president. My belief in our system got me through that loss. When you work on campaigns, sometime you lose. It sucks but that’s part of the deal.
The other part of the equation is the recognition that as great as our system is, it is a tool. No tool is better than the people who use it. our representative democracy, otherwise known as a republic, reflects us. If we do not like the results it produces, we have no one but ourselves to blame. I have written several letters to the Washington Post about George Will. He claims to be both a proponent of capitalism and an opponent of public broadcasting. And yet, he hates reality TV. I think you cannot argue that the free market is the best method to produce quality anything and then be angry when it produces crap. The same can be said of our government. As Bill Clinton used to say, There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be fixed by what is right with America. Amen, brother.
2. The Mets. Do I hate to love them or love to hate them? Clearly the former. Oh, they break my heart every year. I am not going to write any more right now about that, I need a break from hating myself.
3. Reality TV. Jersey Shore. Hoarders. Anything with people who weight more than 500 pounds. We all know why we watch; we want to feel better about our own lives and I am no different. No, I don’t want to see wealthy, vain housewives spend more in an afternoon on napkins than I spend in a year on rent but I like that as dirty as my apartment may get, I don’t have goats eating holes in my walls. Oh, and I can stand up and walk around. Seriously, your family cooks 12 chickens a day for you? Do they deliver your heroin, too? See? I am clearly a disturbed person.
4. The GOP candidates for president. About two years ago, I called Michele Bachmann’s office. I said, “Look, I am not a constituent but I would love it if she ran for president.” I did not add, because I write comedy and that would be awesome, I figured it was implied. I had no idea Herman Cain even existed.
Seriously, I am thankful for the Constitution but I am infinitely more thankful for my friends and family. Thank you for being so awesome.
You know who you are.