I have been thinking this for months, if not years. I finally took some time today and wrote about it. You can read that on the Daily Kos.
I promised to post updates on my health situation so here is the next one.Before I get to that, a note to my friends and family: Some of what you read here may seem scary and it is but there is no reason to worry because I am really fine.
The good: I haven’t had any more grand mal seizures since the last one I wrote about here. The bad: I have had a number of much smaller seizures — they are super short and I remain conscious. The ugly: why does the media insist on continuing to give Donald Trump a platform? No, he has nothing to do with my medical issues but he really annoys me.
My real problem, however, is from the time the seizures hit until later in the day it becomes really hard for me to speak. Now, I can still understand everything and know what I want to say, I just can’t say it. It wears off eventually but if you see me and I am super quiet, you know why.
The universe really wants me to be quiet. Since last year, I have lost my voice to laryngitis more times than I can count. And mean lost it completely. When that gets bad, I sound like a sick dolphin. I have even written comedy about it — one night when this was happening, my mother called and said, “I just hope you don’t have to call 911.” Oh, thanks, she knows one of my biggest fears in the world is being killed (and probably tortured) by a serial killer. That night I had friends text me every few hours to make sure I was still alive. (Side note: I knew someone in high school who was killed by a serial killer. I hate to admit this but when her brother told me my second thought after I am so sorry for your loss, can I do anything, call me anytime was if I know someone killed by a serial killer, the odds are greatly reduced that I will be.)
For some reason these posts about what I am dealing with now are much harder to write than when they are about past events. That brings me to why I do it; the support I have received here has been really helpful. It also means I don’t have to explain everything to everyone who asks. I am truly ok but my reality is a little different and it is taking some getting used to.
And now I have a favor to ask of you. As much as I appreciate the support everyone has given, the concern I hear in people’s voices when they call is a little overwhelming. I have great doctors and everything is being done to get the situation under control. This may seem odd as I have told you all everything here but I cannot talk about my health all the time.
Thanks for reading, being there and helping me deal with this. Once again, I promise, I am really, really, really ok.