Tag Archives: eric cantor

Coming soon to a theatre near you! Petraeus the movie!

English: Official photograph of General David ...

English: Official photograph of General David H. Petraeus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

(This is from Pardon the Pundit)

11/24/2012 7:04 AM Alyson Durden – With the full details of the General Petraeus sex scandal still emerging, director Steven Spielberg has been selected and actors are being cast for a movie about what’s being called “the mother of all scandals.” Sources close to the production tell PTP that Affinity Lab has been contracted to cast and scout locations for the movie, and a team of writers has been enlisted to craft a screenplay. Filming is set to begin as soon as casting has been completed, which is expected to happen early next week. This will be the first time that a movie’s filming will coincide with actual events unfolding. The writers have been sworn to secrecy, but we have learned they are staying at a DC area hotel and will monitor news sites and Congress to keep up with developments for inclusion in the script.

“This is the most exciting project I have ever worked on,” said Harvey Weinstein. “We will be filming a story about events that are happening, practically in real time. The only thing moving faster than us on this is Twitter.”

Sources inside the casting process revealed the following actors are being considered for key roles:

David Petraeus: Harrison Ford or Liam Neeson
General John Allen: Tommy Lee Jones
Paula Broadwell: Katie Holmes
Jill Kelly & twin: Snooki
Frederick “shirtless FBI guy” Humphries: Congressman Paul Ryan
Eric Cantor: Himself

PTP’s nutshell summary of the scandal: General David Petraeus had an affair with his biographer, Paula Broadwell. Meanwhile, he might also have been sleeping with Jill Kelley, who was emailing General John Allen about her diplomatic security clearance, which he gave her personally after sleeping with her twin sister while the sister’s alien baby’s custody was being contested by FBI Director William Skinner. Meanwhile, Fox Mulder and Dana Scully got wind of the alien baby when some threatening emails from Kelley to Broadwell were released, but Kelley then took them to “shirtless FBI guy…” but that was before he was shirtless. He then brought the conspiracy to Eric Cantor who told him, “you are too crazy for me, dude,” leaving him to send shirtless photos of himself to the casting director of Glee. Oh wait… most of this never happened.

Hurricane Sandy and the presidential election

Barack Obama

First of all, I hope everyone reading this is safe, warm and dry.

What a difference a week (or day) can make!  Just think, a month ago, President Obama’s reelection seemed almost like a fait accompli and then, BAM!  Debate number one gave Mitt Romney an opening and he’s back from political death.  I blogged in 2008 that I thought he was going to win it all then.  There’s no excuse for taking their eye off the Romney ball the way Obama clearly did.

I do not want Romney to get to move into the White House.  Not even a little bit. Why?  Mostly because I have no idea who he is or what he stands for.  He was pro-choice before he was anti.  He was pro-health reform before he was anti and then pro again when it served him.  He has taken the whole “run to the right in the primary and then to the center for the general” to levels that I never thought were possible.  Really, Mitt?  You’re now proud of your Massachusetts health care plan?  And you really still think FEMA should be privatized?  Are you fucking kidding me?  Yes?  No?  Maybe?  What day is it?

The Supreme Court could be enough of a reason for me to vote for Barack Obama.  But then I also remember that the president sets the tone for the entire federal government.  I think the Violence Against Women Act was a good idea and want our Justice Department to enforce it.  You know who doesn’t?  Most of the GOP.  And don’t get me started on binders and the GOP’s thoughts on rape.

Then there’s Congressman Paul Ryan (R-WI).  Full disclosure, I have a pretty huge crush on Ryan.  I

Congressman Paul Ryan (R,Wisconsin)

Congressman Paul Ryan (R,Wisconsin) (Photo credit: Tobyotter)

am not proud of it.  I don’t like it but… would I kick him out of bed?  Probably not.  If he could only stop talking and just sit around looking pretty, we’d all be better off.  If he is intent on talking, maybe he can just STOP writing.  I read his plans for Medicare and they are really, really bad.  And no, Joe Scarborough, he isn’t great for being the only one to propose something about the federal program which does need restructuring (we need to deal with health care costs, a voucher program is not the answer).  This is like, the neighbor’s house is on fire!  Somebody, do something!  Ahh, Paul Ryan brought doughnuts.  Doesn’t help with the fire, per se, but technically, he has done something.  And we want this guy to be a heart beat away from being president?  I may think he is some pretty nice (and very hydrated) eye candy, I don’t think he belongs in the White House.

And now, this storm may be a game changer.  (Do Mark Halperin and Jon Heileman have copywrite on that phrase? )  President Obama gets to look, well, presidential.  Something he needs to work on. Now, should he lose the election (and he might), there will be a ton of blame bantied about.  I will blame only one person; the president.  He looked so bored during that debate that I had a hard time watching it.  He made me like Chris Christie and that’s not a small feat.  At least he appreciates FEMA.  Fuck, anyone out there thinks privatizing that important agency makes sense?  It doesn’t.  And we want the guy who wants that to be president, I know I do not.

President Obama has not lived up to a lot of our expectations but truthfully, he never really had a shot at that.  Unless he could completely change the way we approach politics (a crazy high bar to reach), we weren’t going to be satisfied.  Part of this is also his fault.  The candidate of “hope and change” became the president of “it could have been worse.”  Not exactly awe inspiring.

But not terrible either.  I wish Obama had been more hands on when dealing with Congress, though I am not convinced that would have helped woo people like Eric Cantor, who clearly were going to oppose anything he proposed.

I guess in a week we will know.  Do I have to move to France?