It seems like every day I read about someone doing something that gets ’em pepper sprayed. Maybe they’re peacefully protesting proposed tuition hikes and the police overdose them on the stuff. Maybe they’re just trying to get a little Black Friday action when a fellow shopper douces them with the stuff. This morning I saw some shoppers looking to get new Air Jordans were the most recent pepper spray victime. (Read story here.) I can’t speak for you, but nothing gets me quite as rowdy as sneaker shopping.
This whole thing got me thinking about my behavior. Do I do anything that might warrant a pepper spray? What gets me upset?
- The Mets. If you say you are a Met fan and they don’t get your ire up, you are lying about being a fan. It is impossible to watch them — on the field, off the field, having breakfast somewhere — and not want to punch someone.
- Fresca — nothing gets my knickers in a twit like when Safeway is out of the stuff.
- Glee: Man, if I forget to set my DVR and miss an episode the fur does start a flyin’.
- DC Metro. It sucks. Every year the tourists descend like locusts on the city and try to hold the metro doors open during rush hour. They force the doors open and everyone has to get off the train. I would not be the pepper sprayee in this scenario.
- People who think I do things for sympathy. I don’t need your sympathy.
- Inappropriate apostrophe usage. On a business trip my colleagues wanted to go to a restaurant with a great happy hour. I refused to go because of the sign they had out front. Unless there was a woman there named Margarita and she was having a personal special, I was not going. Seriously, plural words do not need an apostrophe. There won’t be enough pepper spray on earth for how irate this gets me.
More to come…